Pumpkin Spice is a way of life now, and it's not going anywhere. When the Fall season hits, you just need to accept that Pumpkin Spice will rule and reign over all things food, drink and...well, basically everything else.
What started as a coffee flavor syrup is now found in cream cheese, candies and air fresheners, with new products being added to the pile with every passing year.
Here's a look at some of the stranger offerings that you can get your PSL fix with this year.
Kraft Pumpkin Spice Macaroni & Cheese
Earlier last week, Kraft Pumpkin Spice Macaroni & Cheese launched in Canada and in 48 hours over 30,000 Canadians signed up for an online waitlist to get their hands on it.
What’s the deal, Canada? Tell me that at least 25,000 of these were ironic purchases, and we’ll be okay.
Regardless of their buying intentions, Canada’s clamor for the weird mac and cheese flavor has driven the product down here, to the United States, as if we weren’t already dealing with enough.
Don’t go rushing to the grocery store, though. You could only win a box through a Twitter promotion to win 1 of 1,000 boxes made. Expect to see those boxes making their way to eBay soon, to fulfill your dream of paying over $100 for a box of mac and cheese.
Blue Bunny Pumpkin Spice Cotton Candy
Cotton candy: it’s a mouth full of sugar. What about a mouth full of sugar that also has a blast of ANOTHER kind of sugar?
It’s odd to think of cotton candy with such a mellow flavor added to it. Is this to expand cotton candy into the adult market? Surely no child is clamoring: “Mommy! Mommy! I want the one that tastes like my favorite coffee!”
Pinnacle Pumpkin Spice Vodka
Problem: you love a good pumpkin spice latte, but it doesn’t matter how many you drink, you won’t get hammered.
Solution: Pumpkin spice vodka, which promises that it’s only a “limited edition”. Until next year, when you’ll have mostly forgotten the hangover it gave you last year.
Hostess Pumpkin Spice Twinkies
Hostess shouldn’t make moves into the “adult” tasting snack world. Hostess needs to be a child’s game of goopy cake, eternally-lasting fluff filling, and when needed: frosting toppers that are so thick you can peel them off.
Even the normally unflappable Twinkie the Kid seems surprised. “In defiance of God, we created this before you!” his eyes seem to say.
Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale
I’m not saying this would necessarily taste bad, but I can’t imagine drinking more than one bottle without getting a stomach ache.
Friskies Party Mix Natural Yums
Okay. There is no way cats crave pumpkin spice. Why is this branded like human food?
If they hadn’t put a big photo of a cat on the label, you know Uncle Steve would’ve unknowingly picked up a case of this for the family get-together, thinking he was getting a bargain.
Stache Bomb Stache Wax
Not a food, but rather something that you could turn into a prank.
Just peel the label off, and gift it to your handlebar-mustache-having friend. They’ll spend the rest of the day going “WHO is making pumpkin bread in here?” and spinning around and around.
Native Pumpkin Spice Deodorant
Again, not a food. Included on the list because someone, somewhere wants to smell like a freshly-baked pumpkin pie all day. You need to know that person exsists.
Pringles Pumpkin Spice Potato Chips
“Limited time only!”
(flat Willy Wonka voice) “No, stop please don’t go away.”
Pumpkin Spice Spam
Here it is. Pumpkin-flavored meat.
Spam defenders will bring up that Spam is pretty good if you fry it up with butter. (I would add that you can make most things taste pretty good if you are frying them in butter.)
What are you gonna do now, Spam fryers? Pumpkin spice has struck again.